Although numerous Muslims might today be in failing marriages and on a fast lane to divorce and its dreadful consequences, there are lots of ways to put their marital relationship back on the right track if the couple are sincere in their desire to fix up. The following principles can be used by Muslims whose marital relationships are already in trouble or by Muslims who want to avoid problem in their marriage.
Numerous Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like enemies rather than partners. The spouse feels that he is the one in charge, and whatever he states goes. The better half feels that she needs to squeeze everything she can from her hubby. Some other halves never reveal their husband that they are pleased with anything he does or buys for them in order to fool him into doing and buying more. They make him seem like a failure if he does not give them the way of life that their friends and families enjoy. Some other halves speak extremely roughly to their partners, humiliate them, as well as physically abuse them. Their other halves have no voice or opinion in the family.
Marital relationship In The Eyes of Allah
It is very sad that this relationship which Allah has actually established for the excellent has actually been made a source of contention, deception, hoax, tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This is not the manner in which marital relationship is supposed to be.
Allah explained marriage really in a different way in the Holy Quran: ‘… He produced for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may stay in serenity with them, and He has actually put love and grace between your (hearts) …” (Holy Quran 30:21, Yusuf Ali Translation).
1. Do not be a Tyrant
No matter whether Islam has actually made the hubby the head of the home, Muslims are not supposed to be dictators and tyrants. We are taught to treat our spouses well. The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) was reported to have actually stated: ‘The most best Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent habits; and the very best amongst you are those who act best to their wives” (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278( R) Sent by Tirmidhi).
2. Be Partners in the Choice Making Process
Follow the principle of ‘Shura,” and deciding as a household. There will be far more harmony in the family when decisions are not enforced and everyone feels that they had some part in making them.
3. Never be Psychologically
Never ever be psychologically, mentally, or physically abusive to your spouse1. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, never mistreated his partners. He is reported to have stated: ‘How could they beat their females in daytime as servants and after that sleep with them in the night?”
4. Be Careful of Your Words
Be really cautious exactly what you state when you are upset. Sometimes you will say things that you would never state when you were not upset. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation.
5. Program Love
Program love for your mate. Be kind, gentle, and loving.
5. Be Your Spouse’s Buddy
Show interest in your mate’s life. Frequently, we live in the same house but know nothing about each other’s lives. It would be great if the husband and wife might work together for the very same cause or on the exact same task. They might possibly establish a husband/wife jail ministry, take care of orphans in their home, or lead an Islamic weekend class.
6. Show Appreciation
Show appreciation for what your partner provides for the family. Never ever make your partner feel that he is refraining from doing sufficient for the household or that you are not pleased with his work or his efforts, unless, of course, he is really lazy and not even attempting to provide for the household. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: ‘On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the lady who has actually been unthankful to her hubby.” (where is this hadith found) Program your partner that you appreciate her. If she takes care of your house and the kids, don’t take it for granted. It is hard work, and nobody likes to feel unappreciated.
7. Work Together in your home
The Prophet is understood to have actually assisted his partners in the house. And if the Prophet (SAWS) was not above doing housework, contemporary Muslim hubbies shouldn’t feel that they are.
8. Communication is necessary
Interaction, Interaction, Communication! This is the big word in therapy. And it needs to be. Couples need to speak to each other. It is much better to handle issues early and truthfully than to let them accumulate until an explosion happens.
9. Forget Past Issues
Do not bring up past problems once they have been resolved
10. Live Just
Don’t be jealous of those who appear to be living a more elegant life than your family. The ‘rizq” is from Allah (SWT). In order to establish the quality of satisfaction, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) for the many blessings in your life.
11. Provide Your Spouse Time Alone
If your mate doesn’t wish to be with you all the time, it doesn’t indicate he or she does not like you. People have to be alone for numerous reasons. Often they want to read, to think of their issues, or just to unwind. Don’t make them feel that they are dedicating a sin.
12. Confess Your Errors
When you slip up, admit it. When your mate slips up, excuse him or her quickly. If possible, never ever go to sleep mad with each other.
13. Physical Relationship is essential
Be available to your mate sexually, and don’t let your sexual relationship be characterized by selfishness. The Prophet was reported to have said: ‘It is not appropriate that you fall upon your wives like a monster however you must send out a message of love ahead of time.”
14. Have Meals Together
Try to eat together as a family when possible. Show the cook and the dishwashing machine, whether it is the husband or the better half, appreciation for his/her efforts. The Prophet did not complain about food that was put before him.
15. Be Mindful of Your discussion Topics
Never talk about with others things about your marriage that your partner wouldn’t like you to talk about, unless there is an Islamic need to do so. Some couples, think it or not, complain to others about their mate’s physical appearance. This is a dish for disaster. Information about your intimate relations need to be kept in between you and your partner.
Much of us treat our spouses in manner ins which we would never deal with others. With others, we aim to be polite, kind, and client. With our partners, we frequently do disappoint these courtesies. Obviously, we are usually with our partners at our worst times– when we are worn out and frustrated after a hard day. After a bad day at the workplace, partners typically come home mad and on edge. The wife has probably likewise had a tough day with the children and the household chores. Spouses and partners must discuss this potential time bomb so that if they are short-tempered with each other during these times, they will comprehend the reasons rather than instantly thinking that their partner no longer enjoys them.
Happy Muslim Marriage require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and effort. Following these principles ought to help any marital relationship to enhance. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Constantly treat your partner the method you want to be dealt with. If you follow this guideline, your marriage will have a much greater possibility for success. If you discard this guideline, failure is simply around the corner.